Pale and Sparkly
by GetYourGleekOn
Summary: "But I have a question. Are you a vampire, Hermione?" "What? Why?" "Well, you are awfully pale and sparkly…" Dramione! Contains minor Twilight bashing and OOCness.


**A/N: This is my first pure Harry Potter fic (my other HP is a crossover with Shugo Chara!), so be nice. It's Dramione, so if you don't like, don't read!**

**Just to be clear, I do not like the Twilight Saga, At all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter 'cause I'm not JK Rowling. Also, I don't own Twilight because I'm (fortunately) not Stephanie Meyer.**

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**Title: **Pale and Sparkly

**Summary: **"But I have a question. Are you a vampire, Hermione?""What? Why?" "Well, you are awfully pale and sparkly…" Dramione! Contains minor Twilight bashing and OOCness.

**Genre/s: **Humor

**Main Characters: **Hermione G. /Draco M.

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Draco Malfoy was a show-off. And so, he pleaded to Hermione Granger, who had recently had a change of heart and agreed to become his girlfriend, to come and watch him at Quidditch practice, so he could do all kind of show-offish things to impress her, like back-flips and such. That day being Tuesday, which was known by all, even non-Quidditch obsessed people, like Hermione, that it was Slytherin Quidditch practice day.

Expecting to see Draco in his green robes and ready for Quidditch practice, Hermione crossed the pitch on the way to the stands. But every centimetre closer she got, the more she thought she saw Draco sitting in the stands reading.

_The team has started practice, though, _Hermione thought.

This was strange; Draco usually took Quidditch so seriously. And he certainly wouldn't skip out on precious practicing time to read. The only time he read were when he had to, or if it was one of those dirty girl books that he stole from Pansy which she called 'romantic'. And if Hermione was right about what book that was, it sure wasn't a text book, or anything that would interest Draco, for that matter. Hermione recognized the flower/feather like thing set on a black background. She knew what she despised. That was New Moon. Reading that sure was out of character for Draco.

"Draco, what are you doing?" Hermione asked, sitting down next to Draco on the stands.

Draco looked up from his book, and saw Hermione, "Hey, 'Mione, I'm just reading."

"And… do you usually read teenage vampire _romance novels_?"

"Not usually," he said, rolling his eyes in his specialized sarcastic-Draco way, "Flint _made _me."

"Why?"

"You know how he's dating Katie Bell, right? Well Katie asked him to read the whole series, and Flint said we had to 'share his pain', and I'm the only one who hasn't finished reading this one yet," he explained, "and I can't practice 'til I finish."

"Okay…" Hermione totally understood the 'pain-sharing' metaphor.

"And I also wanted to know who this 'Edward Cullen' guy the girls were comparing me to was."

"So, how's that going for you?" She had heard many of the girls call him 'Hogwarts' very own Edward Cullen' many times.

"Looks wise, I'm happy with the comparison. But I'm a lot more bad-ass than him."

Hermione couldn't help but let out a few giggles. "That's true."

_Kind of, _she thought, but she didn't vocalize this. She knew Draco prided himself in being the bad boy of the school and she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Have you read it, 'Mione?" Draco asked, folding the corner of the page he was up to and snapping the book shut.

"Uh-huh."

"Did you like it?"

"Nope."

"I understand," Draco laughed a bit, and then said, "But I have a question. Are you a vampire, Hermione?"

"What? Why?"

"Well, you are awfully pale and sparkly." Draco explained, pondering the utterly confused look on Hermione's face.

"Me? Pale and Sparkly? What about you?" Hermione teased, poking Draco's arm and making an example of his pseudo-vampiric skin, "your whole reputation basically thrives on you being 'Draco Malfoy, the pale and sparkly boy'. And anyway, Draco, vampires have cold skin."

"True," Draco poked Hermione on the cheek as a method of checking her temperature.

"See, I'm not cold. So I am not a vampire." Hermione said, triumphant. She hoped that now, her terribly immature boyfriend would stop reading those books before he fell in love with Edward.

"So then you're a werewolf," Draco retorted, looking quite pleased with himself. He always liked to tease Hermione in any way possible, "that's even better."

"Oh, Draco, shut up."

"No thanks. I think I'll keep talking."

Hermione looked up, only to see that the Slytherin team had finished practice, and had started to leave. The _whole_ team had been listening to basically their _whole _conversation, while Flint and Montague giggled like 10 year old girls.

Hermione glared and mouthed something like, "Grow up", then turned to Draco.

"Come on Draco, let's go and have lunch."

"Fine." Draco's eyes lit up as he thought of something else annoying to say, "But 'Mione, make sure you eat plenty of meat! As a werewolf, you'll need it!"

As they walked off to the Great Hall, Draco vowed to **never **speak of vampires or werewolves again.

Until another teenage vampire romance novel came out.

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**Sorry, that was really random... well, I hope you liked it, so if you did (or didn't...) tell me through a review!**


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